You Won’t Believe What We’re About to Do to Our Headlines. Spoiler: Not Really.
Upworthy.com (and, now, copycat sites) has become known for dramatic, click-grabbing headlines. As I write this, here’s what’s scattered across Upworthy.com’s main page:
- Remember When Music Videos Used To Mean Something? Some Still Do.
- About. Damn. Time. A Sports Network Takes On What No One Wants To Talk About In Locker Rooms.
- Oh Snap! Cat Blanchett Asks E! Why They Filmed Her Like That But Not The Men.
These headlines are built for one purpose: to grab your interest and make you click. They’re an engagement strategy. If writing accurate, concise, descriptive headlines was Headline Writing Strategy 1.0, these are 2.0, dripping with drama and cliffhangers and faux astonishment.
It got me thinking. What would happen if we took our most recent headlines here on Unfiltered and put them through the Upworthy treatment? Would the new ones be better? Worse? Would you vomit? Let’s see (click to see the real headlines):
- What Do Eating An Elephant And Upgrading Your PeopleSoft Have In Common? You Won’t Believe What You’re About To Learn.
- If You Think This Household Bathroom Scale Is Magic, You’re Right. Prepare To Meet Your Personal Electronic Wizard.
- Preach It! Why Buying New Enterprise Assets Prematurely Might Be The Dumbest Thing You Can Do.
- Sorry To Disappoint You, Nerds: Football Players Probably Smarter Than You.
- If You’re Not Going To The Oracle Value Chain Summit In February, There Are No Words For What You Will Be Missing.
- Richard Feynman Said The Universe Itself Is In A Glass Of Wine. People Laughed. Then They Saw This Video.
Hmm.
Hmm.
We might be on to something here.
(Unless you’re vomiting, in which case, “Man Refuses To Believe A Blog Post Can Make Him Vomit. And Then He Reads This.” Wait. Sorry. What we mean is sorry.)
Have a great weekend, you guys.
